Bridging the Gap Between Expectation and Reality

My Baby Leaves the Nest

What do you do when you experience a gap between expectation and reality? This is a universal experience we all eventually face when life doesn’t turn out like we envisioned it would—or should—be. It creates turmoil and disruption in our lives. This applies to career, family, relationships, health, or just about anything we set our hearts on and work hard to develop. It applies to big losses and minor losses, but the more time, energy, devotion, and hope we apply to our expectations, the harder it is to deal with the loss. Two common reactions are to either push away the reality and cling to our expectations or to become overwhelmed by the reality and let go of our expectations. Our initial response to loss is simply a way to cope with the blow. Once the new reality settles in, however, we realize there are better choices to make than denial or acquiescence. Will we allow ourselves to accept our losses and even grow through them?

Loss can deepen us and make us better people if we understand how, but the process can be confusing and difficult. Why? Upheaval works in two ways, first it uproots our current life, and second it triggers old memories of previous losses. The result is confusion and frustration over not being able to see a clear path through loss. What we need is a roadmap for assessing loss and moving toward acceptance, and that is what my newly published book offers. I weave together my recent cancer recurrence, childhood triggers of growing up on two continents, struggles with belonging, betrayal, and abuse, along with my mom’s Holocaust experiences into a five-step framework to move us from condemning to accepting and in some cases embracing loss. My framework provides a psychological and spiritual guide for healing from loss. So, while my story starts as a cancer journey, it goes far beyond that. I hope that readers who experience a gap between expectations and reality will find a way forward through my story.

I am excited to announce that my memoir Life After Why: Finding my Footing and Purpose in a Life Disrupter by Sheri Entz Blackmon is now available through Amazon, and soon it will be available through other channels. Since this is my first published book, I hope you will obtain a copy, help spread the word, write a review, and offer suggestions of how to connect with people who would benefit from reading it. If you know of someone who has experienced a significant life disrupter, please consider introducing them to my book. It is greatly appreciated.

Writing a book is much like giving birth or launching a child into adulthood. Years of thought and reflection go into it. Numerous rewrites and proofreads consume the author until she finally lets her baby out the door, imperfect but strong. She sends it out with a prayer that someone’s life will be stronger and better for reading it, that a wounded healer will emerge to bless another wounded person, that cross-pollination will beget life and life will beget hope.

That is my hope, and I am grateful for your support in making it a reality.